Burning Away All Desires

It took me a few years before I realized that the experiences I was having with the “many teachers” started to happen after my meeting with Devraha Baba, the 350-year-old saint, at the Kumbh Mela in 1977.

I decided to go to India to visit Devraha Baba again in January 1982. The first time I had met him in a state of unawareness. Now, I believed I was aware. It was as if he had taken a man who had been standing on his head and had set him upright on his feet. The new perspective had overcome me and filled me with reverence. I needed to see Baba, to be near him as an offering of love.

Baba’s camp was approximately ten miles from my mother’s house, where I was staying. My plan was to see him at midnight, the same time I first met him five years earlier. Not wanting to be late, I allowed plenty of time to get there on my borrowed bike. I would have to watch for potholes on the road in the pitch dark and would need to walk on the sandy beach of the river Ganges.

On the way, I made a sudden decision to stop and see my friend Dr. Sinha, (more on Sinha soon) who happened to live along the way. It was late at night, but I knew Dr. Sinha might already know I was coming and if he did not wish to see me that late at night, he would not be under the tree where we always met. Meetings were always under his control. 

Sinha was under the tree and welcomed me enthusiastically. He did not show any surprise in seeing me back in India. I told him I was on my way to see Devraha Baba and just stopped by to pay my respects. 

“Devraha Baba!” Sinha’s eyes lit up. 

“He is the saint of saints. The saints worship him. What takes you there?” he asked.

Upon hearing my answer, Sinha went on to relate the story of a man who was getting in his car to go to see Devraha Baba when the man’s wife reminded him to purchase some makhana, puffed lotus seeds, for a worship service that evening at their house. 

The man found the Baba seated, as usual, on his platform ten feet above the ground.

“Oh, you want makhana?” Baba called out to him as the man opened his car door. 

Baba manifested a 50-pound bag of lotus seeds from the side of his body and dropped it from the platform to the ground. This was a much greater amount than the man had  planned to buy. 

As he finished his story, Sinha told me, “Devraha Baba knows what’s in a person’s mind.”. 

“You should go now,” Sinha remarked after a few minutes. “You don’t want to keep Devraha Baba waiting. You are very blessed.”

I had ridden my bike about a mile when a thought entered my mind. 

Devraha Baba is likely to know what is lurking in the back of my mind. I should be conscious of my thoughts. What would I like to see happen because of this meeting?

The idea soon started to rattle my mind. If it was true that the Baba could grant any boon, then what should I ask for? What would show me his power to manifest, as Sinha claimed? My first thought was of my wife, who was having back problems. Maybe I could ask for Treva’s back to be healed. 

Immediately, the image of a few white kernels of makhana, the popped lotus seeds, dropped into my otherwise empty mind, as if my thought was a bubble being burst into nothingness. The meaning was clear to me: I needed to think of something else.The man in Sinha’s story had been thinking of his wife’s request to bring her lotus seeds, an insignificant thought. He received many times more lotus seeds than the amount in his thoughts, but still it was insignificant. I needed to think of something bigger.

Maybe I should ask for our son to have a successful career. More popped lotus seeds.

Something for my daughter? Lotus seed puffs.

Perhaps those wishes were too intangible. What could I ask for that would be measurable, visible proof to me of Baba’s powers? What if I asked for a boon of $1 million? More lotus seeds.

OK, if that is not enough, $10 million? More lotus seed puffs.

All right. I raised the ante. What about $100 million? Again, lotus seed puffs.

A story came to mind. There was an old couple, blind, in poor health, and childless. One day an angel appeared and offered them one boon. The man wanted money to live on. The wife said she always wanted children. They could not make up their minds, and they asked for a day to think about it before stating their wish.

The next day, when the angel came, the couple was ready with their answer. “We want to see our grandchildren play with toys made of silver and gold.”

Again, the meaning of this story was clear to me. I needed to think of one thing that would be inclusive of all my desires.

The paved road ended and I was walking my bike on the sandy banks of the Ganges. From a great distance, I could see a small candlelight emanating from Devraha Baba’s cottage on the platform. Time was short. Every desire I thought of was being popped up as lotus seeds, as if my mind were the popping machine.

Finally, I was within a few hundred yards of Baba’s platform. The tiny light in the distance was flickering, and my body was feeling the warmth of that light, as if it were next to me. That warmth evoked a peculiar feeling of remembering something.

I was on earth to experience the sheer joy and beauty of what I was here to do. Not to own desires. 

It felt as if I had been walking in a dream and had suddenly awakened. My body was vibrating and light, as if ready to take off in the air. My mind was empty. No desires were left to be popped. Nothing. Not even the desire to see Baba, though he was so near.

I stopped and began to laugh. How would I ever explain to anyone that I had traveled 10,000 miles, left my family and my work and now, within yards of my destination, I had no reason to move forward? 

I dropped my bike and sat down on the cold sand. In that instant, the tiny light in Baba’s cabin went off. 

A broad smile covered my face, and I shook my head in disbelief. Baba had been tracking my trip, and he knew all along what I had come for.

“Scoundrel,” I muttered under my breath.