Cleansing

February 23, 1983

On my next visit to Dr. Sinha, I take my mother and the same friends who previously went with us. This time we take enough pillows and blankets to sit comfortably on the cement platform without getting too cold. 

Before going there, I decide to plan some sort of experiment to scientifically prove the skill and powers I have had the opportunity to witness in Sinha. I think of various experiments that could be conducted. One method would be to have a psychic in the U.S. communicate with Sinha without the aid of modern means, such as mail or telephone. I think of Michelle, a young psychic I know.

Once again, it is an interesting meeting. Sinha tells lots of entertaining stories and keeps his audience spellbound for several hours. During a lull in the conversation, I ask if he could tell me something about the psychic I am considering for the experiment.

Without hesitation he starts, “She grew up with a single parent. I see her mother is not alive. She is very attached to an elderly lady and places trust in her,” he says, pausing between each statement. “This young girl at this time is very concerned about her future. 

“Do you wish to know anything specific about this young lady?” he inquires.

“No,” I reply.

There is a brief period of silence and Sinha closes his eyes. It is obvious that he is seeing something and is soon going to speak.

“Mathur Sahib,” he finally says, “Why do you ask me about such things? You are wasting your energy as well as mine. You have important things to accomplish.You came to me as a non-believer. I was deputized to point out to you that in HIM all things are possible. In HIM time and space do not exist. Time and space are a delusion of our minds.

“I have given you these demonstrations to hook your curiosity and thus your faith. These demonstrations have no value in themselves. It is also my job to make sure that you do not get stuck in this delusion. You must proceed forward. All your note taking and sharing of information is of no ultimate value. How does it help you if I tell you what may happen a year from now, or how this young lady looks, or what she does? I can see everything about her in front of me. Most things I cannot tell you. You have to enlighten yourself.

“When you have been illuminated, then others will automatically know. You will not have to tell them. When you are in darkness, you can only spread darkness.

“I have read your notes. They are shallow. You have caught only a glimpse of the outside, which is mere delusion. I have given you information on many different levels, but you have caught only the superficial aspects. You have a long journey ahead of you. You are only in kindergarten.”

Sinha’s lips are tight and quivering with anger, his tone harsh and his message cruelly piercing. Why does he not convey this message to me in private? Why does he have to deflate me in front of my family? I feel cheated. No one speaks. It is up to me alone to break the silence.

“Dr. Sinha, I understand what you say, and it may surprise you, but I understand my shallowness. I am a novice in this field. I do not yet understand the rules of the game. Generalities are too subtle for me at this time.

“What do you think has to be my very next step to proceed forward?” I ask.

“You must cleanse yourself first,” Sinha replies. “You must diligently cleanse yourself of all impurities before you can be initiated in HIS spirit. If your container is contaminated, then you shall contaminate the pure gift. It is no use receiving pure milk in a contaminated cup.

“In the West you are in a rush. You want quick results. You want to shorten the process of cleansing. It is like having a container full of cow dung from which you have scraped the top, and you have filled it with ice cream. It tastes good in the beginning but soon you have to throw it away. But ice cream in a clean cup you can enjoy to the very last bite.”

“How do I cleanse myself?” I inquire.

“For each person the procedure is different. But in your case, you need to experience silence. Only through silence will you experience the music of your inner soul and that is the music you need to play. 

“In the so-called ‘modern world,’ they do not understand the power of sound. Your lives are so filled with sounds and words—empty, meaningless sounds. You must shake off all that. Then only shall you be impregnated with HIS power, and every word of yours shall resonate with power. Until then your words are empty, like the sounds of a toy gun.

“Your words will carry HIS power after you have maintained silence for 40 days. Do it diligently and with all your might, because many people, including that lady with the American Indian past (Olive Garvey), are waiting for you to become aware of yourself. Don’t hold up the train.”

Suddenly, Sinha is back in his jovial mood. He tells many more stories to lighten the mood and cheer everyone up. Then finally he looks at my mother and says, “Respected mother, throughout this evening you have not said a single word. May we have the benefit of your wisdom? Please mother.”

Mother, who is never afraid to speak her mind and never minces words, speaks out in a calm and clear voice, “Tonight I shall go home with a heavy heart.”

“Why so, respected mother? We all honor you. You have blessed this place by your arrival. If I have said anything to arouse your resentment, then I have committed a sin and I seek your forgiveness. Please give me a chance to explain. What may have inadvertently caused your anguish?”

Mother replies in her stately manner, “You have asked my son to maintain a silence of 40 days. He is a family man with a lovely wife and children. If he pursues the path that you recommend, his wife will abandon him.”

“No, mother, no,” Sinha protests. “As no one can run a marathon the very first day, Balbir will have to condition himself in stages. It will happen over a period of time. Mother, there are people who live right next door to me who are not aware of my existence, yet your son has come all the way from America, and he pulls his friends in the middle of cold nights to come and visit me. He has even brought a saintly lady like you. It is my good fortune. On your son shines HIS light. No harm can befall him. I can guarantee you that his wife shall not abandon him.”

We leave Sinha at about 1 a.m. and mother admonishes me. She is as serious as I have ever seen her. She says, “Do not follow that advice. It would be a shame if your wife were to ever leave you.”